Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
