even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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