Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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