from now on my penis is your penis
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
