What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
