I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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