But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
