I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
