she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
