so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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