You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
