It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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