Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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