I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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