i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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