i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
