It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
