you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
