arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
