it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize