Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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