WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
