Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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