He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
