Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
