I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize