Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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