He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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