Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
