so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
honey bunches of taint.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize