That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
