Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
