Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
