Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She bit a glass in half.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
