TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
