last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
