I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
