"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
