i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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