i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
