so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
