dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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