About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
