season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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