There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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