ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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