i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
