Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize