Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
