what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
