bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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