one might say we're banned from that church
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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