dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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