im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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