$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
