Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
