wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
