Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
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