I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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