It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
