they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
