Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
