I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize