Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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