Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize